I am posting an article that I wrote about 5 years ago, when I was going home for the holidays (which was also my first time going back home since I had moved to Hawaii...). Since I just booked my trip home for the holidays this year, this seemed like the perfect time to post this....
When I first moved to Hawaii, one of my main concerns was what I was going to do over the holidays. It sure wouldn't feel like Christmas-time with the temperatures lingering somewhere around 85 degrees. With no signs of frost or snow, except for the artificial crap that Neiman Marcus has on display at my neighborhood mall, would I really be able to get into the holiday spirit? And it sure wouldn't feel like Christmas without any of my family members by my side. As the holiday season approached, I started to get a little uneasy. How the hell can I spend the holidays in Hawaii? How the hell can I spend the holidays in the heat? And how the hell can I not see my family on Christmas Eve? So, with a little help from the powers that be (that is mommy and sissy's bank accounts), I managed to weasel myself a round-trip ticket home for the holiday season.
Now that my trip back home is secured, I am already stressing -- as only the holiday season can make one do.
My first and major problem with returning to the "mainland" is that I have zero warm clothes here with me. The heaviest article of clothing I have here is a jean jacket and that just ain't going to cut it when I step out of Newark Airport unto sub-zero temperatures. Zero warm clothing plus sub-zero temps, equals hypothermia. On top of the cold itself, my blood has thinned out since I have been here. Although it is cold to begin with, it is going to feel even colder to me, even though I grew up eating snow as a child for fun. When it drops to 70 degrees here at night, I bundle myself up in a fleece blanket while watching The O.C.. I am hardly kidding (about the blanket OR about my obsession with that show). Due to the winter shock I am bound to experience, I felt compelled to go online last week and order a Burberry scarf so I would have one winter-like article to wear when I emerge from the plane (ok fine, I didn't NEED it per se, but it was a good excuse to buy it right?). For a 10-day trip home, I have to buy all new winter gear, which I am obviously not going to bring back to Hawaii with me. They will sit up in my parents' attic and rot in those plastic storage bins along with all my other winter clothes that I threw up there prior to my move. Then next year, when I come home again for the holidays, I will conveniently forget that I have winter clothes stashed away and I will buy all new clothes just like I am doing right now. What a vicious cycle!
The clothing issue can always be solved by raiding friends' closets. However, the other issue I am stressing over cannot be solved by simply borrowing from other people. Under the most normal circumstances, the holiday season is stressful enough with having to fit in everything on the agenda. Going here, going there, stopping by here, shopping for this person and that person. I am home for a mere 10 days, in which I need to accomplish the following: See every single person I know on the East Coast, attend five family functions in South Jersey, party like a rock star in New York City and do all my Christmas shopping. Should I look into cloning myself now or later?
Aside from not looking forward to the Eskimo-like temperatures and the time constraints that will be forced upon me, I cannot begin to explain how excited I am to come to NYC. I miss the city so much (and my friends too), but with being so far removed from it all for 6 months, I am a little weary about how I am going to react to it all. My fear is that I am going to realize how much I really miss New York. The excitement, the places to go, seeing everyone I spent the last 3 years with, running all around, the hustle and bustle, the food, the culture, all in all -- "the city". Will my trip to New York burden me with sadness and make me less-than-thrilled about returning to Hawaii (I HIGHLY doubt this will be the case with the wind chill factor slapping me on my tanned cheeks). But nonetheless, the thought has crossed my mind. And with nothing but free time on my hands to spend with loved ones, will I realize that I don't want to be so far away from them? (However, they DO say that absence makes the heart grow fonder and I believe such is the case -- and not only for significant others). Although these are simply plausible and hypothetical situations, these are the types of things I have been pondering while basking in the sun (do I know how to rub it in or what?).
On the complete other hand though, with all the above in question, I have also come to the conclusion that I could potentially realize that I love my life in Hawaii and that I can't wait to get back. I am sure that I will be missing that warm island sun and my very spacious apartment. I will definitely miss my boyfriend since we are not spending the holidays together this year. The city just MAY be too overwhelming for me after I have learned how to slow down a little and not always be in such a damn rush. OK, I haven't fully become laid-back, I doubt that even a place like Hawaii can make me not crazy, but I have definitely taken it down a notch in relation to the spazz that I once was while living in the heart of Manhattan.
This trip home might be just what I need -- not only will it allow me to spend this special time of year with the people that mean the most to me (minus my boyfriend who will be in Maui), I think that it will also help put a lot of things into perspective and help me to appreciate what I have right now -- an apartment with a view of the Pacific, a fabulous job as an event planner and an amazing, loving relationship. And after all, isn't that what the holidays are all about?
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!
JAMIE
